Domestic violence is something that affects men and fathers
every bit as much as women and mothers, but the absence of even more overt physical injuries and the expectation of men as protectors often leads to a lack of sympathy for male casualties of the phenomenon. Only around 10 percent of men in the US who experience intimate partner violence will ever report it, a number that reflects the prevalent social institutions that perpetuate the notion that speaking up about male victimization is beneath them.
The nature of the barrier for men seeking help is more complex, particularly because there are more barriers – there are fewer resources and places for men. There are more places for women to go and they are more well-known. There are places for men in New York, there’s a domestic violence hotline and a domestic violence office, but they are probably not as well-known.
Children growing up in homes where fathers are suffering from domestic violence can suffer major and long-term harm. Children can be emotionally scarred and anxious, and living with the experience of violence towards an adult co-parent can impact on their future relationships with both genders, and their long-term mental wellbeing.
This is one reason why it is so important for society to recognize male victims as such, and to provide support and services for men in a way that is commensurate with the needs of female victims.
Know someone suffering? Reach out to The Retreat!
Personalized Support for Struggling Fathers Across Long Island
A program of The Retreat, a nonprofit that assists victims of domestic violence in Suffolk and Nassau Counties on Long Island, LIFI helps struggling fathers by providing case management, parenting skills, relationship building, job readiness, financial stability, access to housing, mental health and substance use services, domestic violence prevention, and other tangible means of support such as transportation and work clothing.
The Long Island Fatherhood Initiative provides programs for fathers, age 18 and older, to support them in developing parenting and healthy-relationship skills, employment opportunities, and economic stability.
‘This program is going to help dads who could use a hand – including possibly low-income dads and dads who may have experienced some contact with the criminal justice system – to have a new road to wellbeing,’ said the Hon. Loretta Davis, Executive Director of The Retreat. ‘We are thrilled to help fathers across Long Island have a new sense of strength and power and security. Our program assists domestic-violence prevention as well because we bring each dad personal, education-based skills for living and coping tools. We view this program as a path to transformation. ‘If a dad has experienced violence in his home, it can be like a fast-spreading contagion, impacting everyone in his life.’
For more information, please get in touch with Romarie McCue at 631-761-8518 or rmccue@theretreatinc.org.
About Retreat
The Retreat, founded in 1987, is a community-based, not-for-profit agency whose mission is to provide safety, shelter and support for victims of domestic abuse and, through professional staff, preventive education programs and training in the community, to break the cycle of family violence. Services include 24/7 Crisis Hot Line, Domestic Violence Shelter, Legal Advocacy, Counselling and Violence Prevention Education. The Retreat is a nationally recognized, innovative agency providing comprehensive services for victims/survivors of domestic violence and their children on eastern Long Island and across New York State.
Know someone being abused?
Help a friend or a family member whose situation and behavior is worrying. While family violence or abuse can be a tricky subject to navigate, equipping yourself with the right information can help you be there for them.
